Tuesday, April 20, 2010

My Aptitude test results say 'Drug Lord'?


I really suck at this whole blogging thing. My friends who also blog post like everyday... sometimes multiple times a day. But screw it... I like to keep people guessing. Don't have any expectations from me anyway - I'm really not the most consistent person in the world.

Last night my temporary roommate had a date come over so I was banished from the apartment... Enter korean bbq, box of wine, board games, and crews and tango's.

There is nothing better than having the meat sweats and playing a game called 'Grass'... which is all about being a drug lord and building a weed empire. Obviously I was a natural... Due to my cuthroat business practices, my preternatural ability to intimidate and lie, and the fact that I look like I could pass for South American. After Grass and three quarters of a 4 litre box of wine we played a game called 'What'... which is kind of like Balderdash but you make fun of your friends instead of make up definitions. Way better.

Ever wondered who in your group of friends you might want to bone? Would never bone? Has a very disturbing kinky side? Then a box of wine Then 'What!' is for you.


On the way home we had an unplanned stop into Crews and Tango's for a drink. This was my first visit after its relaunch last Friday. The place looks the same... dim lighting, minimal decore, and an abundance of drag queens. Although now it has 'Restaurant & Bar' added to its name. Restaurant? What could they possibly serve? Who would eat there? I don't think I could ever be hungry enough to eat at crews. Drag queens don't generally inspire an appetizing atmosphere. I dunno... maybe it's just me.


Friday, March 19, 2010

St. Paddy's Day Follies and Other Random... but inspired... Musings


I have not written on this thing since November 25, 2009. I would like to say it's because I was so busy doing amazing things and exciting projects... truth is I am very very lazy.

But I am currently on a caffeine spurred upswing so here you go.

This past week St. Patrick's day took place... this is a very special day where white people get crazy inebriated and wear green. I'm not sure why this day exists historically... or the religious significance; however, does it really matter? Does anyone know? I am neither irish or a fan of wearing green (it makes me look pasty), but this has never stopped me from making a complete ass of myself on this day (Side note: It's also my Dad's bday! Happy Birthday Dad! Sorry bout the gay thing... I'll make it up to you and be successful... North American successful... Or if that's not enough I'll have a sham marriage to a female Arabic cousin of your choice)

So... directly after work I had to head over to the custom T-shirt store on Yonge just south of Wellesley (I am currently in love with the guy who works the front counter... He is straight... and adorable... and potentially hilarious - he DOES work at a funny shirt store... I love the unattainable) in order to get a shirt that would make my friends laugh and make me feel included in the pasty celebrations. After this I went home for a healthy meal - I consumed an entire Large Pizza... this is what eating salad for lunch gets you... Honestly - it makes me HUNGRIER. So I get home and binge. Healthy Living.

On to the house party. Beers. Tequila. 30 homos. I was pleasantly surprised to see a wide array of ethnic minorities there. All of them being equally disincluded as I... Drunk white people love standing in circles. Somehow I can't manage to infiltrate these circles - and the minute I do they mysteriously disband. Either way, St. Paddy's day seems to be the melting pot of Holidays.

Things about Ireland I like:
Potatoes
Fiddles

Things about Ireland I dislike:
Leprechauns
River Dance
The high incidence of Gingers

Things about Ireland I don't understand:
Blarney Stone (wtf is that?!)