This is what I think of you: Gerard Butler

Uhmm... Hi Gerard Butler... *blush*,

I had to shoot and keep down a quart of tequila, rail some **** off of a very unsanitary bathroom counter in a seedy brothel, and smoke a pack of marlboros just to get the nerve to come up here and talk to you (apparently we are in Mexico). I just wanted to tell you... you're awesome, OMG I love you! You make me weak in the knees, and giggle like a 17 year old girl. I LOVE YOU. Like, borderline swimfan.

Where are you going?! Please don't be scared... That's not a gun in my pocket;)

Okay, well - while I have you here there are some things that need to be addressed. Aside from your insane hotness.

You are - in my opinion - Hollywood's current 'it' boy. What makes me think this... Widely adored. Check. Hot career trajectory. Check. Magazine covers. Check. Ruggedly handsome. Muthereffin Check. Do you deserve this... let's see.

Upon browsing your IMDb page... well, Gerry - you've made a lot of stinkers. Tomorrow Never Dies could only be considered good if you were Mr. bond, Tomb raider 3? Seriously... Dracula 2000 - I didn't see it but Dracula movies suck 90% of the time, Timeline? With Paul Walker??? Why? Why would you associate your supreme awesomeness with that schlock? I could go on with questionable credits, but you get the picture.

Then there was RocknRolla. Where you played One Two. And our love affair began. You were tough, and FUNNY, and the scene where you slow danced with Handsome Bob cause he was going to go to jail the next day and all he wanted was to dance with you... ugh... well let's just say I have a new reason to change my sheets (sorry drunken shawerma mess, you've been replaced). I also caught you on Saturday Night Live the other week - and you were good! The 300 spoof where you abolished the don't ask don't tell law for the Spartan army... priceless.

So despite your spotty filmography, you are super talented. But let's face it, even if you weren't I'd still love you just for you (and by you I mean your face). You rock a beard harder than anyone else in Tinsel Town which is aces in my book... but please no more teaming up with Katherine Heigl... She is more annoying than you are good-looking - so let's keep the attention on that face.

Call me!!!

P.S. What I lack in anatomy I make up for in enthusiasm. Wink;)